Just Random Stuff

I'm sorry that there isn't an overriding theme for this post.

Avery is standing next to me right now holding a light saber. She is a very well-balanced young lady.

Evan is helping his mother clean up the kitchen. Aidan and Toby are torturing each other.

My father believes that the elections are rigged and that our country is controlled by money interests and international banks who are seeking the advent of one-world government. He would not mind me telling you this.

School is fine except for about two of the 155 children I teach weekly. I took a very firm stand against some attempt-to-control-the-teacher behavior today and probably did some major damage to my reputation as a cheerful and emotionally stable person.

My leadership team for the play continues to do well. I am really appreciating how everyone has been stepping up and leading without being asked.

I am tired of rudeness in people. I have been the victim of a series of rude behaviors in recent days. Please join me now for a little lecture on manners.

#1: If you are in a conversation and someone (like, say, ME) approaches you, do not stand there and continue your conversation as if I do not exist. Clearly I do exist and I need to ask you something. I will be brief, and you can return to your previous conversation momentarily.

#2: If you have a request to make of me that is highly irregular and most people wouldn't even attempt to make, make it apologetically. I will refrain from calling you out if you are already apologetic.

#3: If your child is not doing well (and has a history of not doing well), do not wait until one week before the end of the quarter to contact me. And do not call at 6:00. We are eating dinner and I am trying to pay some attention to my own family. I have been paying attention to your family all day.

If you suspect that you are one of the people that I'm referencing, fear not. I have already forgiven you and just wanted to vent a little and make the world a better place. I still like you. I still will treat your child fairly. Most of the time. ;-)

Our house deal I think is almost done. We have almost all of the details worked out, including how Jay and Emily and we are going to get their stuff out here and our stuff to our new home in "rural" Southeast. I'm hoping for a pleasant winter in a snug new home. Of course, I may not know how to act there.

Why Fifth Graders Are Hazardous to Your Health

I've taught for a long time now. By my count I have led almost 12,000 class periods on one topic or another. You would think that it would be easy by now.

In some ways, it is. I am not challenged at all by the basic premises of teaching. There exists some truth which I wish to impart to the students. There also exist a variety of methods by which I can get said truth into the students. For the most part, I am successful.

So the fifth graders (all of them together) came in for their class today. I divided them up into teams for an opening game, and it went quite well. Then there were a few kids who had to retake a vocab quiz because of a mistake that I (not they) made last week. So I sent them out to the hallway to accomplish this feat. While they were quizzing, we inside were going to correct lesson 6 in their worktexts. Six of the students volunteered to correct two books at the same time. This went all right until the rest of the 5th graders began finishing their quizzes and trickled back into the classroom. Not wanting them to feel left out, I tried to redistribute books to correct as they continued to return. Soon this became difficult to manage. We didn't finish correcting until four minutes before the class hour ended. This did not give us enough time to put scores into the computer before they went back to class or practice any real skills.

So I sent back the 5th graders to their homerooms, having told them to leave their texts out on the tops of the desks. Of course I had another class coming in immediately who helped me get the stuff managed, but not until I had wasted ten minutes of their class time in doing so.

But the simple truth is, you just cannot rush a group of 25 fifth graders any faster than they happen to go. Though they are well behaved and basically cooperative, they are fifth graders. And that's that.

We are in rehearsal with the play. I had fun picking on one of my leads today who backed her parents' van into her friend's parents' Jetta on Friday night. Her little brother ratted her out during Latin 7 this morning. I spect that she will kill him before tomorrow.

Yes, we do academics at Schaeffer also. I knew you were going to ask.

All right, I saw the cutest thing this morning. We have a new teacher this year who is in his 40s (I assume) and absolutely immense - not fat - just extremely large. Besides lit and biology, he teaches kindergarten PE. As he and the kindergarteners were heading outside, I heard one little girl say to him in the coyest voice, "Do you notice anything different about me this morning?"

He replied, asking her if her headband was new.

I didn't hear the end of the story, since they went outside, but I knew that she was delighted with the attention.

More Latin, Please!

A few weeks ago I got an email from a fifth-grade parent. This is not unusual in itself, but the direction was. Paraphasing, it basically went like this: "Latin is my daughter's favorite subject. She wants to learn all she can about the language and how to use it. What else can she do or be involved in?"

Now, I sponsor a bi-weekly Latin lunch for scholars, nerds, and other interested in taking their Latin to the next level. Several sophomores and one freshman come to that. High school students.

But here we're talking about a 10-year-old.

So I consented to meet with the child. She has Latin with me two times a week, and I'd noticed that she was exceptionally bright and interested, and if I said anything remotely interesting or novel, her eyes would light up and she'd write it in her notebook. Here's an abridged transcript of our conversation. "Magister" is teacher in Latin and "discipula" is student.

Magister: So your mom talked to me a few days ago. She said that you really like Latin, and that you want to do more Latin than you're doing now.

Discipula: [embarrassed smile, nods]

Magister: Tell me what you'd like to learn how to do.

Discipula: I'd like to learn all about Latin and how it works, how you change the endings on the words and what they do. I want to be a scholar when I grow up. [big,radiant,dazzling smile]

Magister: Did you want to know more about the history and culture of ancient Rome, too?

Discipula: No, not so much. Just the language, mostly.

Magister: Well, I think you found the right person.


So I get to figure out how to turn a very willing and talented 10-year-old into a Latin scholar. Amazing. What a journey this year is turning out to be!!

Dystopian Children's Literature

I've decided I would like to write some dystopian children's literature. This thought occurred to me while I was reading a lovely children's book to Aidan and Toby before bedtime. For as many years as I spent teaching English, I really don't read to my kids that often. So they were eagerly snuggled around me, listening to the story of a library that was about to close. Apparently it needed a new roof and new paint. So the children checked out books called _How to Roof in Perfect Lines_ and another one called _How to Paint a Library_ or some such rot. And then they read by day and they read by night. The next morning (YES, THE NEXT MORNING!) they got to work roofing the library and painting it a lovely buttercup yellow. BUTTERCUP YELLOW? HELLO! Buttercup Yellow is an interior only color because gentle exterior yellows fade unevenly. They didn't have to pull any work permits, no one on the library board was consulted, and apparently paint and shingles are free.
The story continued like this, with challenges put in front of the youthful library users Skunk, Mouse, Mole, and Raccoon. Of course Miss Goose, the librarian, had nothing to do with the solutions; she only helplessly recounted the problems.

Finally the library ended up in Old Beaver's meadow, where all the children came to enjoy its endless supply of interesting and educational books, and where Old Beaver and his grandson arrived every afternoon after they had finished their nap.

If you would like some truly dystopian works for your children that present the world as it is and no more, leave me a comment. Maybe I'll write one over Christmas Break.

Speaking of dystopias, we bought a house sort of back in town. It's off Marion Road and theoretically has everything that we as a family are looking for. My wife thinks it is the best thing since indoor plumbing. Myself, I'm just hoping that it will continue to have indoor plumbing. (The house is in a transition from well and septic to city water and sewer; the lines have been brought to the house but not actually hooked up yet.)

I took a full trailer of junk to the dump today. Toby was my labor companion, and we did great work together getting rid things that our previous owner in her generosity had left us.

Grandpa came out today to work on the tractor with me. While we were not able to fix it, we did discover more about the problem. If we had a little more understanding of the factors involved, we might have solved it. Old tractors are not particularly complex.

Slogging Through

Years ago I promised myself that I would try to slow down a little. I believe that was just before I turned 30. For the most part I have not succeeded very well in this quest, although changing my teaching load from English to Latin cut a lot of the correcting, especially of essays and other non-objective blather.

The past couple weeks have been inordinately busy. We have been aggressively house-shopping, reading scripts for the fall play, entertaining relatives, having birthday parties for Evan and Aidan, teaching adult classes at church, teaching the regular class load at Berean, finishing summer outdoor services work, and delivering a two-session Christian worldview seminar. Oh yeah, and I hit a deer with the Corolla about a week and a half ago.

The play I finally picked was _Illinois Pete_, which I think will do well for our cast and school community. It is a mystery/adventure/comedy set in a girls' private school. We are performing, Lord willing, on November 21 and 22, so set aside some time on your calendar! Friday will be an evening performance and Saturday, a matinee.

My high school leadership team this year is just stellar!! I'm really excited about the kids involved and the variety of talents that they will bring to the drama program. We started off our rehearsal (first rehearsal) yesterday with a discussion of 1 Cor. 12:12-26. I just asked one question: How does this passage apply to a drama program? The answers I received were terrific. They really got it.

Some of you readers may remember a sermon I preached last fall about two apple trees in my front yard. One was lush, green, and gorgeous, but completely without fruit. The other was almost dead, but had one good-sized branch absolutely loaded with apples. I made the application to our lives as believers, talking about how we may look nice, but if there's no fruit, how useful are we to the kingdom of God? In contrast, the scars of time and sin may be all over us, but if we bear fruit, we demonstrate that we have received grace and are beautiful in God's sight.

Both apple trees have experienced changes since I preached this message. The old, uneven, hideous tree fell over in a windstorm this summer. The green part remained green while the tree lay on the ground for several weeks. It was an interesting testimony to staying connected to the source of strength through any circumstances. I finally cut it up and put in in the barn.

The other apple tree, Evan noticed a few days ago, had produced fruit. Two apples. Two large, gorgeous apples about 20 feet off the ground. We got an extension ladder, put it against the branches of the tree, and Evan climbed to the top and harvested the fruit. Not am I thankful for a tree that listened to my preaching (!), but I also celebrated having a wise and courageous son who truly will be like a tree planted by streams of water.

If you would like a meditation on the financial crisis in the U.S. today, read Psalm 60 and reflect on it.

Old One Hundredth

According to the blogger tracker thinger, this is my one hundredth post. It reminded me of a hymn tune title simply known in the old Lutheran hymnal as "Old Hundredth."

So I have enjoyed blogging. There's been plenty of activity, but it seems so cyclical to me that I don't know if any of it will be of interest to you. How's that for confidence?

I have chosen the play for this fall. We're doing _Illinois Pete_ by Dan Somebodyorother. I think it will fit my potential cast well and showcase their talents. Casting starts tomorrow, meaning it will be a busy day.

We lost one of the houses we were shooting at (bank decided to work with another offer) and so we put in an offer on a different property. I am somewhat encouraged and somewhat ambivalent. If we get this property, we will be near the top of what we should pay for a house, but we'll get lots of bedrooms, a solid house, a double garage, and a full, fenced one-acre lot. Greg submitted the offer to the seller's agent today (or at least I assume he did).

I made a fire tonight in our fire pit and quizzed my boys on theology. They are pretty good amateur theologians, except Toby thinks that there are three gods in one person. I also began to teach them how to pray for each other. It was good.

My wife is packing everything in sight. I believe this should be called "unnesting". I am not a natural packer and cannot bring myself to start something like that early. That, and I am exhausted a lot of the time.

The new glasses from Shopko are quite nice. Turns out you don't need the high index plastic for $3 million after all.

I'm going to go sit in my green chair now and dream of eternal life.

A Comment on Business Ethics

I have been dealing with an inordinate number of business people lately. Most of them are decent folk who care about their clients, but some contemporary business practices make me angry. I'm going to shed a little light on one in hopes that these kinds of business practices will be shamed into going away.

My frustration concerns eyeglasses. In the spring of 2006, I had an eye exam and bought a pair of glasses from Shopko south. I went there because the eye doctor had been recommended to me. He turned out to be a great opthalmologist, and I was very pleased with the glasses. However, I had an accident with a ladder this summer that led to the weakening of the glasses. A few days ago when I was working at the computer, I adjusted the glasses and the bows snapped off completely.

So I took the pieces and went back to Shopko south. Here is what I discovered:

1) Since the prescription was over two years old, they could not make me a new pair of glasses.

2) Since the frame is now outdated (two years old!) they could not order me a new frame and put the lenses in that frame.

3) They were unable to locate any match bows or in fact any bows that would even replace the broken ones so the glasses would stay on my face.

4) The technician lost one of my broken bows in her attempt to find a match for it.


So, because I liked the doctor, I scheduled another eye exam. I was told that the eye exam would be covered by our insurance, so I didn't worry about it. When I was already in the exam room, the doctor asked me if I would like an exam for contact lenses as well. I said that I assumed they were one and the same. "No," he said. "It's apples and oranges."

So I figured I probably needed the contact lens exam and said sure, go ahead. He never said a word about a separate charge for the contact lens exam. I learned about that when I visited the technician/sales clerk at the optical register. He explained that the glasses exam was covered, but the lens one was not.

Then we went on to choosing glasses. I picked a frame and began to ask questions about lenses. The tech told me that we'd get high-index lenses because of my prescription. I asked if there were any other lenses available. I practically had to drag out of the technician the other types of lenses and the prices of them. He had just assumed he would choose the most expensive product for me.

I submit that these business practices, besides being shoddy and perhaps borderline dishonest, are also insensitive to the poor. So is the rule that requires an eyeglass prescription less than two years old to have a pair of glasses made. It is yet another example of regulation not helping but hindering the low income.

I have politely kept my mouth shut for a long time. However, I am about to that age where I am tired of sitting quietly and politely. Nothing changes unless people of faith and ethics speak clearly about the issues that affect our lives and our society.