The Return of the Frank

Being so delighted at the outcome of our last plumbing project (functional) I decided to return to Menards and tackle another strange aspect of our plumbing, the hot and cold water from the water heater to the washing machine. The upstairs washing machine, that is. (Read last blog for context.)

And there, gloriously punched in and ready to serve me, was Frank. The Frank who has been at Menards 24 years and apparently all of them in plumbing. The Frank who knows a coupling from an elbow from a ball valve. The Frank who can inspire your plumbing to work. And I had him... all to myself.

So I approached the bench with a little confidence and a little trepidation. Timidly I lifted the corroded piece of copper piping and explained how I just wanted to put in a line of PEX tubing to replace all the old copper. Frank nodded and then stared at the copper pipe. He placed it next to samples of new copper pipe on his rack and turned his large, disapproving eyes on me.

"This pipe has been frozen, hasn't it!" he demanded. I tried to substitute aloofness for terror. "Several times," I quipped. Frank shook his head disgustedly. He examined the end of the pipe again.

"These is a flare fitting," he said, expensive concern evident in his voice.
Since I didn't know what a flare fitting was, I couldn't disagree. Frank went on to explain that flare fittings don't connect up with regular pipe fittings except by means of adapters. Multiple adapters, as it turns out.

Since I am sort of dense in plumbing and, one could argue, other areas, it took Frank a while to make this clear to me. By the time it was clear, Frank was getting louder and more emphatic.

"The ONLY THING that connects to a flare fitting is ANOTHER FLARE FITTING. We've got to put a DOUBLE FEMALE FLEX JOINT IN HERE TO CONNECT TO PIPE TUBING. IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO DO IT!"

Now, I didn't mean to question Frank, but I didn't want to buy 33 fittings, either.

After a cell phone call home, we finally discovered a way to remove the flare fitting and shorten the process. Somewhat. The pieces were in the cart. We were close to done.

And then I did it. I turned back to Frank and asked, "If you were doing the job, what would you use to cut PEX tubing?"

He mused for a moment, then replied, "Well, you could use a hacksaw, but then you'd have to finish the end with a utility knife. But you look like you're going to be doing a lot of this now."

I nodded, a little proudly and a little sadly.

"So I think," Frank went on, "that you could get a PEX cutting tool. On sale for only $7.00 this week."

Well, I didn't even hesitate as I usually do. I knew what had to be done to earn Frank's approval.

"I'll take it!" I exclaimed. Frank laid it soberly in the cart.

Plumbing. It's not just about pipes any more.